Chapter Six Helping with baby
Abstract
Our society defines fatherhood principally in economic terms. The only time that is available for fathers and children to be together is time left over from the job. One consequence of this is that a third of the sample fathers saw their five-month-old babies for an hour or less a day.
In many cases, it has become more acceptable for a husband to ‘help’ his wife; provided he doesn’t help too much, it is regarded as probable that his masculinity will survive. ‘Helping with baby’ has become one index of a man’s involvement with his children. The sample women were asked how much their husbands did for the baby at five weeks and five months, and what they (the mothers) felt about this1.
Sophy: I don’t think Matthew knows quite what to make of having her. She’s less real to him than she is to me. I think he’s slightly less involved than I thought he would be.
Interviewer (I): Does he change nappies?
Sophy: He’s watched me change her nappy, but I haven’t forced it. You see it’s usually part of the feeding process [Tiffany is breastfed] so I mean I just do it. And I think he feels a bit unsure about dressing her, so he doesn’t do that. Really the only thing he does is wind her; he’s terribly good at winding her when she’s got bad wind.
I: Does he get up in the night to her?
Sophy: I take her into the bathroom to feed her in there. He slightly resents being woken in the night.
Abstract
Our society defines fatherhood principally in economic terms. The only time that is available for fathers and children to be together is time left over from the job. One consequence of this is that a third of the sample fathers saw their five-month-old babies for an hour or less a day.
In many cases, it has become more acceptable for a husband to ‘help’ his wife; provided he doesn’t help too much, it is regarded as probable that his masculinity will survive. ‘Helping with baby’ has become one index of a man’s involvement with his children. The sample women were asked how much their husbands did for the baby at five weeks and five months, and what they (the mothers) felt about this1.
Sophy: I don’t think Matthew knows quite what to make of having her. She’s less real to him than she is to me. I think he’s slightly less involved than I thought he would be.
Interviewer (I): Does he change nappies?
Sophy: He’s watched me change her nappy, but I haven’t forced it. You see it’s usually part of the feeding process [Tiffany is breastfed] so I mean I just do it. And I think he feels a bit unsure about dressing her, so he doesn’t do that. Really the only thing he does is wind her; he’s terribly good at winding her when she’s got bad wind.
I: Does he get up in the night to her?
Sophy: I take her into the bathroom to feed her in there. He slightly resents being woken in the night.
Kapitel in diesem Buch
- Front Matter i
- Contents iii
- Sources of extracts iv
- Foreword by Germaine Greer vi
- Preface ix
-
Sex and gender
- Introduction 2
- The difference between sex and gender 7
- Genes and gender 13
- A kind of person 21
- Childhood lessons 31
- Science, gender and women’s liberation 41
-
Housework and family life
- Introduction 54
- On studying housework 59
- Images of housework 63
- Work conditions 75
- Standards and routines 87
- Marriage and the division of labour 93
- Helping with baby 103
- Housework in history and culture 109
-
Childbirth, motherhood and medicine
- Introduction 118
- The agony and the ecstasy 123
- Lessons mothers learn 139
- Medical maternity cases 151
- Mistakes and mystiques of motherhood 179
-
Doing social science
- Introduction 184
- The invisible woman: sexism in sociology 189
- Reflections thirty years on 207
- On being interviewed 211
- Interviewing women: a contradiction in terms? 217
- Who’s afraid of the randomized controlled trial? Some dilemmas of the scientific method and ‘good’ research practice 233
- Paradigm wars: some thoughts on a personal and public trajectory 245
- General bibliography 251
- Bibliography of work by Ann Oakley 281
- Ann Oakley: further reading 285
- Index 295
Kapitel in diesem Buch
- Front Matter i
- Contents iii
- Sources of extracts iv
- Foreword by Germaine Greer vi
- Preface ix
-
Sex and gender
- Introduction 2
- The difference between sex and gender 7
- Genes and gender 13
- A kind of person 21
- Childhood lessons 31
- Science, gender and women’s liberation 41
-
Housework and family life
- Introduction 54
- On studying housework 59
- Images of housework 63
- Work conditions 75
- Standards and routines 87
- Marriage and the division of labour 93
- Helping with baby 103
- Housework in history and culture 109
-
Childbirth, motherhood and medicine
- Introduction 118
- The agony and the ecstasy 123
- Lessons mothers learn 139
- Medical maternity cases 151
- Mistakes and mystiques of motherhood 179
-
Doing social science
- Introduction 184
- The invisible woman: sexism in sociology 189
- Reflections thirty years on 207
- On being interviewed 211
- Interviewing women: a contradiction in terms? 217
- Who’s afraid of the randomized controlled trial? Some dilemmas of the scientific method and ‘good’ research practice 233
- Paradigm wars: some thoughts on a personal and public trajectory 245
- General bibliography 251
- Bibliography of work by Ann Oakley 281
- Ann Oakley: further reading 285
- Index 295
