Strategies in Expressing Condolences Via Social Networking Sites: The Case of Instagram and Facebook

1 Introduction

One of the most challenging moments in life is coping with someone’s death and trying to comfort the bereaved experiencing deep sorrow. Many people are uncertain about the appropriate behavior in such situations and may hesitate to offer condolences (Farnia 2011). Additionally, circumstances might prevent individuals from directly addressing the deceased or expressing their feelings to alleviate sorrow. Samavarchi and Allami (2012) noted that silence is sometimes used as a strategy for offering condolences, although this may not always be a conscious choice. Various factors, including age, gender, ethnicity, education, and religious beliefs, influence how people express their sympathies. These factors lead to sociolinguistic and socio-pragmatic diversity in condolence strategies. Most studies (Al-Shboul and Maros 2013; Elwood 2004; Farnia 2011; Hwayed and Al-Ameedi 2022; Pishghadam and Moghaddam 2013; Samavarchi and Allami 2012; Weaver et al. 2019; Wiener et al. 2018) have focused on sociolinguistic strategies evident in written messages, but few frameworks address the strategies for expressing sympathy to the bereaved.

This study aims to investigate the condolence strategies used by Iranian native speakers. The focus on this speech act is due to the importance of analysing strategies used in social media condolences. While several studies examine condolence strategies for ordinary individuals, few focus on celebrities who are internationally recognized. Social networking sites introduce unique factors, such as formality and anonymity levels. This study analyses social media posts expressing condolences for Abbas Kiarostami’s death to identify the strategies used by Iranians. Abbas Kiarostami, a prominent figure in Iranian cinema, significantly influenced many people and shaped attitudes toward art and cinema. The findings could contribute to understanding how individuals in an Islamic community respond to the death of a non-religious person. Studying Iranian condolence messages on social media provides insights into sociolinguistic strategies for expressing sympathy and support during grief. By analyzing linguistic features, cultural norms, and social dynamics, researchers can understand how people navigate complex social relationships through language. This study also highlights the role of digital platforms in shaping how condolences are communicated and received today. Ultimately, examining condolence messages in the Iranian context can contribute to academic discussions on sociolinguistic strategies, empathy, and interpersonal communication across diverse cultural and linguistic settings.

2 Literature Review

3 Methods

4 Results

The inter-rater reliability was utilized to validate the categories identified by the researcher, based on previous studies and the analysis of condolence messages provided by commenters on Instagram and Facebook. Six major strategies were evaluated, and the reliability of these categories was assessed by two external raters who are experts in Applied Linguistics (Table 2).

Cohen’s κ was calculated to determine the level of agreement between the two raters regarding the strategies extracted by the researcher based on the comments. The analysis indicated a substantial agreement regarding the major and minor strategies, with κ = 0.855, p < 0.05.

In the following section, the major themes extracted by MAXQDA are presented, along with explanations of the primary strategies used by Iranians to express condolences. To provide a clear understanding of these concepts, some examples were translated and rechecked by translation experts to complement the data (Figure 1).

Figure 1:

Thematic representation of strategies.

Praising the deceased: The review of comments on Instagram and Facebook regarding Kiarostami’s death after an unsuccessful surgery revealed many instances emphasizing this strategy. Most messages highlighted his professional achievements and contributions, which made him famous. Praising the deceased was also identified as a major strategy in Pishghadam and Moghaddam (2013). Iranians on social media used various methods to express gratitude, often exaggerating the personality and contributions of the deceased. Expressions ranged from formal to informal, often incorporating academic language to show respect and admiration.

Dear Abbas Kiarostami: Yours films were the mirrors of the events and phenomena in the society and your attitude toward life affected me.

Showing sorrow and agony: Many commenters expressed their sadness and stated that Kiarostami’s death was an irreplaceable loss. This strategy focuses on direct expressions of sorrow rather than indirect ones. The manner of expressing sadness varied with the degree of familiarity with Kiarostami and his contributions. Although common phrases were prevalent, some non-religious condolences deviated from conventional expressions. Shock and pain emerged as subcategories of showing sorrow and agony, with initial expressions of shock followed by a deeper emphasis on the pain of the loss.

His absence is unbelievable. He was the world of values for me. I wish this pain could be eased. I cannot describe the pain I tolerate after this shock

Poetic expressions: Reflecting the cultural background of the commenters, numerous poetic expressions were observed. The use of poetry is common in Persian obituaries and condolences, especially on social media. Elements like immortality and the passage of time to alleviate pain were prominent in the poems. New forms of Persian poetry, such as “Azad,” were used, with similes and metaphors being key literary devices.

It is possible to live without others/ It is impossible to live without Abbas Kiarostami

Oh, the mournful heart, calm down/ oh the unknown feeling calm down

Using Emoticons and Emojis: This strategy is technology-oriented, with emoticons being widely used in chatrooms, emails, and social media. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook enable users to utilize various emoticons to express feelings. Emoticons like the ‘black heart,’ symbolizing sadness and death, were sometimes the sole means of expressing condolences, without accompanying text. GIFs, depicting innocence and simplicity, were also used to enhance emotional expression.

Praying for his/her peace: This strategy, deeply rooted in religious and cultural values, involves praying for the deceased’s salvation. Despite the deceased’s lack of a clear religious background, many users avoided direct religious expressions but still conveyed prayers for peace and eternal rest. The belief in eternality and limbo was evident in the expressions used.

May he rest in peace/he will be always with us

Oh, the unique: May your soul rest in peace

Complaining about the current situation: Specific to Kiarostami’s death, commenters criticized the medical care he received, blaming the hospital staff for his death. This strategy is unique to this context and may not apply to other condolence messages. Some users even called for public protests to express their anger and seek accountability.

Dr. Mir is the shame of medical community and empty of honor and humanity.

all should know who is guilty of This nobleman’s death

In the following graph, the frequency of the strategies used by the commenters on Instagram and Facebook was shown. In the following part, the frequency of major and minor strategies was explained (Figure 2).

Figure 2:

The distribution of strategies.

Praising the deceased was the most frequent strategy (N = 65) among the 211 condolence messages analyzed, while poetic expressions were the least used (N = 11). Despite the widespread use of praise, showing sorrow and sadness was also a prominent strategy (N = 49), making these two the major strategies. The remaining strategies – poetic expressions (N = 11), using emoticons (N = 32), praying for peace (N = 31), and complaining about the current situation (N = 23) – were categorized as minor strategies.

5 Discussion

Investigating condolence messages reveals various forms and meanings underlying their linguistic manifestations. Condolences serve as a vehicle for individuals to express social values during a death event. As Mwihaki (2004) noted, condolence messages emphasize emotive over informative values, aiming to comfort the bereaved in times of distress. This study identifies several strategies, used both consciously and unconsciously, to convey sympathy. These strategies vary across languages and cultures, and the findings illustrate the strategies employed by Iranians in expressing condolences for deceased loved ones. While some strategies align with previous studies, social media introduces new ones absent in face-to-face interactions, highlighting its transformative impact as noted by scholars such as Carroll and Landry (2010), Goldschmidt (2013), Hammond (2015), and Varga and Paulus (2014).

Contrary to Williams (2006), “enquiry for information” was not a significant strategy in this study. Given that the deceased was a well-known figure, the reason for death was common knowledge, rendering such enquiries irrelevant. This study aligns with other Iranian research, such as Farnia’s (2011), where strategies like praising the deceased and using poetic expressions were prominent. However, praying for God’s mercy, a significant theme in Farnia’s research, was less prevalent here, likely due to the non-religious nature of the social media platforms examined – Instagram and Facebook. This divergence indicates a preference among users to avoid religious expressions in their condolences. Similarly, Al-Shboul and Maros (2013) identified “asking for God’s mercy” in Facebook condolences, but this study’s dissimilarity might stem from differing religious contexts. Unlike Pishghadam and Moghaddam's (2013) and Bayo’s (2021) studies, which found religious themes influential, this study observed minimal use of Islamic expressions, possibly due to the deceased’s ambiguous religious stance.

Furthermore, the absence of religious quotes in this study suggests users’ reluctance to use such phrases, despite their prevalence in Iranian culture. Even in funerals, people typically accept Quranic recitations, regardless of personal beliefs. However, in this case, the fans avoided Islamic expressions possibly due to the deceased’s perceived atheism. This aligns with Carroll and Landry (2010) assertion that social media can revolutionize expressions of sympathy, providing a platform for those diverging from traditional norms.

Additionally, while poetic expressions were highlighted in some studies, proverbs, as noted in Farnia’s research, were not observed here. This indicates a preference for direct emotional expression, a trend also noted by Samavarchi and Allami (2012). Despite being a distinct strategy, the relatively low use of poetic expressions suggests their limited appeal in this context. The study of Pishghadam and Moghaddam (2013) identified seven condolence strategies, with only one – commenting on the deceased – overlapping with this study’s findings. The researcher in this study preferred the term ‘praising the deceased’ to capture this concept, emphasizing its non-threatening nature compared to potentially intrusive enquiries about the death or urging the bereaved to move on.

The study classified strategies as major or minor based on their frequency. Praising the deceased and showing sorrow were the most frequent, reflecting their central role in expressing concern. Other strategies, such as poetic expressions and complaints about the current situation, appeared more overused and less person-centered, potentially making them more threatening, as suggested by Servaty-Seib and Burleson (2007). The divergence from Williams’ (2006) findings may relate to the specific context and social status of the deceased. Unlike ordinary individuals, a celebrity’s death disseminates widely, making further enquiries seem inappropriate or insensitive.

Surprisingly, poetic expressions and proverbs, prominent in Al-Shboul and Maros (2013) and Farnia (2011), were among the least used strategies. This may reflect the informal language dominant on social media, fostering intimacy between condolence message senders and receivers. One notable technological feature is the use of emoticons and emojis. Developed in the 1990s, these symbols have become integral to social media lexicon. Iranian fans of Kiarostami extensively used these icons to convey condolences, surpassing traditional strategies like poetic expressions and religious prayers.

Despite some cross-cultural similarities in expressing condolences, Minoo, Niayesh and Rezanejad (2021) suggested that Iranians use distinct patterns, influenced by the cultural significance of poetry. However, religious expressions were minimal in social media posts, contrary to expectations based on Islamic societal norms (Bayo 2021). Social media’s impact on condolence strategies allows individuals to express their thoughts uniquely, reshaping societal norms. Carroll and Landry (2010) highlighted how social media facilitates cross-cultural condolence expressions, fostering understanding and empathy. Concerns about internet etiquette, as noted by Pennington (2013), seem unwarranted as the study showed thoughtful and considerate expressions of sympathy on social media, indicating its potential as a positive tool for connection and support during loss.

6 Conclusion and Implications

This study identified several major strategies used by Iranians to express condolences and highlighted their frequencies. By analyzing these strategies, the study provides significant insights into how individuals in an Islamic community express condolences. This research sheds light on the cultural norms and traditions surrounding grief and mourning, emphasizing the importance of offering support and comfort during difficult times. Understanding these practices is crucial for fostering empathy and effective communication within and across cultures.

A key feature of this study was its focus on written condolence messages shared on social networking sites, which allow users to express their views informally and anonymously. Six strategies were identified by the researcher and evaluated by two external reviewers. The inter-rater reliability results indicated a moderate degree of agreement between the raters, indicating some disagreements on the type and terminology of strategies used. Despite these differences, the study successfully classified the strategies into major and minor categories based on their frequency in the sample, identifying two major and four minor strategies.

One of the most important aspects of this research was the use of two different platforms, Facebook and Instagram, for data collection. Extracting samples from these platforms enabled the researcher to access a more inclusive and diverse sample. Future studies in this field should consider using various platforms to ensure that the data's generalizability. Limiting the study to a single platform might introduce biases specific to that platform rather than capturing a general sense of social media practices.

While this study focused on identifying major and minor strategies, it did not delve deeply into the linguistic aspects of these strategies. Future research could explore both the sociopragmatic and sociolinguistic dimensions of condolence messages. Additionally, future studies could examine the effectiveness of these strategies by assessing the perceptions of the bereaved. Identifying the least effective yet commonly used strategies could provide valuable insights into improving the way condolences are expressed.

The implications of this study extend beyond academic understanding. By illuminating how condolences are communicated in an Islamic context, this research can inform the practices of individuals and organizations aiming to offer appropriate and culturally sensitive support. Social media platforms, as highlighted by Carroll and Landry (2010), can revolutionize expressions of sympathy, allowing for more personalized and thoughtful messages that resonate deeply with recipients. This study underscores the potential of social media to enhance communal bonds and provide meaningful support during times of loss.