Front Matter

Chapters in this book

1. Front Matter i
2. Contents v
3. In which the murder takes place 1
4. In which you catch a glimpse of my green card and sample immigrant crêpes 11
5. In which I try to examine Nina’s diary but speak with the strangers instead 21
6. In which we observe émigrés on the beach and learn everything we need to know about potential murder suspects 28
7. In which we revisit Nina’s childhood and play hide-and-seek in the Summer Gardens 50
8. In which the detective gets unexpected mail 56
9. In which we finally learn about the men in Nina’s life and meet “the Eurasian genius” 59
10. In which we attend the Eurasian tea party and lose all respect for Attila the Hun 73
11. Which might make you blush 83
12. In which we learn about the “other woman” and read the Manifesto of the Kinopeople 88
13. In which we all go to a Hungarian party and learn about Soviet missile launchers 95
14. In which I finally see Ninotchka and wonder about the consequences 100
15. In which I spend some time in the Bibliothéque Nationale and stumble upon a conspiracy theory ciphered in the script of Ninotchka 110
16. A digression on common fears and on the importance of dusting, preferably with a wet rag 118
17. In which the best part happens behind the scenes, so the anxious reader can just skip this chapter altogether 122
18. Hardly a chapter at all, a couple of loose pages from my computer diary 127
19. Which tells you how to cure a common cold with roasted salt and potato steam and how to remove stains on your red Pioneer tie 129
20. In which the detective misbehaves in the movie theater while watching a film with Gerard Depardieu 133
21. In which we finally meet Nina’s last lover Lionel, learn of his desire to become a great American writer and read his sketch about Russian roulette 144
22. Which tells you what to do when you run into your lover’s wife in the supermarket 151
23. In which we learn how Ninotchka was conceived and what made Greta Garbo laugh 154
24. In which a mysterious character from the third row packs his bags and makes a confession 155
25. Up in the air 170
26. In which we travel to Russia and watch a musical dedicated to the Soviet Constitution 174
27. In which my beautiful grandmother takes her last stroll in Paris 185
28. In which I invite you to come home with me but Tram No. 30 runs very slowly 187
29. In which I bury my grandmother 193
30. Which offers you seven elephants of happiness 197
31. In which we dispel our sad thoughts and learn what Ninel Markovna really did in Paris 200
32. In which you meet my English professor and drink the cheap wine of our youth 210
33. In which we taste a fruit drink and cabbage pirogi at my Alma Mater and learn what happened to Boris Krestovsky in Russia 217
34. In which we stop making Eurasian jokes and explore the double life of Yuri Poltavsky-Rizhsky 225
35. In which you follow me to Moscow and have a pickle treat 236
36. In which we eavesdrop on Comrade Kaganovich 242
37. In which we watch The Lilac Sunset and listen to Kachalsky’s songs 247
38. In which I meet Cossacks and have a romantic escapade at the Pizza Hut 256
39. In which the murderer makes a scene 263
40. In which we get homesick in Gorky Park 280
41. In which we leave Russia and bid farewell to Rabinovich and Anka the machine gunner 285
42. Which tells you that there is no place like home 294
43. Greta Garbo’s Last Smile 298
44. Postscript 302