Chapters in this book

1. Frontmatter i
2. CONTENTS v
3. PREFACE ix
4. Vous êtes pardonné, Werner 1
5. Spiritual mother, natural mother 5
6. My model family 6
7. Innocence has a friend in heaven 13
8. The sun of the night 18
9. Muse, companion, friend— Magdalena Montezuma 22
10. Rosa/Holger and Carla— the beginning of my artistic work 27
11. Argila and Neurasia 34
12. Eika Katappa 37
13. . . . and what came of it 43
14. Comedies 46
15. Friendship 50
16. Salome in Baalbek 55
17. Beautiful is ugly, ugly is beautiful 60
18. The Death of Maria Malibran 62
19. Emilia Galotti; or, How the theater discovered me 66
20. Willow Springs 71
21. California 76
22. Passion 79
23. Gods in decline 84
24. El Angel 88
25. A sense of the world— journeys in Latin America 91
26. Adventures 96
27. Flocons d’or 101
28. One must leave so as to understand 105
29. Madness, the key to all hearts 109
30. Maria 115
31. Naples in winter 117
32. Champagne Schroeter 122
33. The White Journey 126
34. Abroad in Germany and Italy 129
35. The Bavarian Sausage Conspiracy 134
36. La patrie de l’âme 139
37. Failure makes you human 143
38. Day of the Idiots 151
39. A blasphemous clan 155
40. Réveille- moi à midi 158
41. The Rose King 163
42. I and alcohol— alcohol and I 167
43. Grief, Longing, Rebellion 172
44. Marcelo 176
45. Malina 178
46. My theatrical family 183
47. Where words end, music begins 188
48. The Queen 195
49. Enough breath for my life 198
50. All that life devours 201
51. The last love, friendship 204
52. The way to something new 210
53. This Night 216
54. AFTERWORD 223
55. APPENDIXES 231