Policy Press
3 Moving house with dementia
Abstract
My name is Jill. I married my husband, Dominic, in 1975. He was 46 and I was 29. We had two children in 1976 and 1979. Dominic was a dentist and somewhat eccentric, so we have never been Mr & Mrs Average. He retired in 1996 aged 65. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2003 and had a diagnosis earlier than most. Perhaps because of his medical training Dominic was aware early on something was not right – as was I. He was initially prescribed Aricept. He stayed on this for a few months but became dizzy and nauseous so stopped taking it. He has taken no medication since then and his dementia has developed relatively slowly. He is now 91. In 2019 we moved to a new house. I didn’t tell Dominic about the move as I thought it might distress him. This record is written very much from my perspective and is not necessarily an example of ‘good practice’ for others to follow. It is simply my account of what it was like for me to move house with a partner who had been living with dementia for 17 years.
One of the joys of living with someone for 45 years is that you get to know each other inside out. I can always tell if Dominic is anxious or uncomfortable. Even if he doesn’t voice his feelings to me (and he usually does!) he can become withdrawn and restless.
Abstract
My name is Jill. I married my husband, Dominic, in 1975. He was 46 and I was 29. We had two children in 1976 and 1979. Dominic was a dentist and somewhat eccentric, so we have never been Mr & Mrs Average. He retired in 1996 aged 65. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2003 and had a diagnosis earlier than most. Perhaps because of his medical training Dominic was aware early on something was not right – as was I. He was initially prescribed Aricept. He stayed on this for a few months but became dizzy and nauseous so stopped taking it. He has taken no medication since then and his dementia has developed relatively slowly. He is now 91. In 2019 we moved to a new house. I didn’t tell Dominic about the move as I thought it might distress him. This record is written very much from my perspective and is not necessarily an example of ‘good practice’ for others to follow. It is simply my account of what it was like for me to move house with a partner who had been living with dementia for 17 years.
One of the joys of living with someone for 45 years is that you get to know each other inside out. I can always tell if Dominic is anxious or uncomfortable. Even if he doesn’t voice his feelings to me (and he usually does!) he can become withdrawn and restless.
Chapters in this book
- Front Matter i
- Contents v
- List of figures and tables vii
- Notes on contributors viii
- Acknowledgements xiii
- Introduction: Placing dementia 1
- Understanding the meaning of neighbourhoods for people living with dementia: the value of a relational lens 23
- Moving house with dementia 44
- How do people with dementia manage problematic situations in public spaces? 48
- Making and maintaining neighbourhood connections when living alone with dementia 67
- My neighbourhood, my future …? 90
- Enabling the neighbourhood: a case for rethinking dementia-friendly communities 94
- A conceptual framework of the person–environment interaction in the neighbourhood among persons living with dementia: a focus on out-of-home mobility 113
- We’re known as ‘the girls’ around town: support, isolation and belonging for a lesbian couple living with dementia 135
- Building community capacity for dementia in Canada: new directions in new places 140
- The good, the challenging and the supportive: mapping life with dementia in the community 160
- Growing back into community: changes through life with dementia 186
- Dementia, tourism and leisure: making the visitor economy dementia friendly 191
- Conclusion: Dementia emplaced 208
- Index 218
Chapters in this book
- Front Matter i
- Contents v
- List of figures and tables vii
- Notes on contributors viii
- Acknowledgements xiii
- Introduction: Placing dementia 1
- Understanding the meaning of neighbourhoods for people living with dementia: the value of a relational lens 23
- Moving house with dementia 44
- How do people with dementia manage problematic situations in public spaces? 48
- Making and maintaining neighbourhood connections when living alone with dementia 67
- My neighbourhood, my future …? 90
- Enabling the neighbourhood: a case for rethinking dementia-friendly communities 94
- A conceptual framework of the person–environment interaction in the neighbourhood among persons living with dementia: a focus on out-of-home mobility 113
- We’re known as ‘the girls’ around town: support, isolation and belonging for a lesbian couple living with dementia 135
- Building community capacity for dementia in Canada: new directions in new places 140
- The good, the challenging and the supportive: mapping life with dementia in the community 160
- Growing back into community: changes through life with dementia 186
- Dementia, tourism and leisure: making the visitor economy dementia friendly 191
- Conclusion: Dementia emplaced 208
- Index 218
