Chapters in this book

1. Frontmatter 1
2. Contens 6
3. Acknowledgments 13
4. Introduction: Writing the Disaster in Tongues: Marianna Kiyanovska’s Voices of Babyn Yar 15
5. Preface: Voices from the Edge: Translation, Memory, and Mourning 25
6. Eyes filled with tears so dense they won’t flow 37
7. Only now can I speak of this 39
8. I hold a bullet under my tongue 43
9. I would collapse in the street right here 45
10. Hundreds of streets could fill this vastness 47
11. I’m nearing, nearing, near 49
12. The mundane has vanished 51
13. I won’t save a soul 53
14. Africa Africa 55
15. I fed my cat with saliva 59
16. Happiness is present and eternal 61
17. If I survive I’ll simply be a tato 63
18. At the train station two found rest 65
19. I really don’t know if I’m afraid 67
20. Rebbe Leivi Yitzhak Shneyerson 69
21. I’m here I’m he I get up off my knees 71
22. This war—so long I nearly grew up 73
23. These last parting moments should they be forgotten 75
24. There was terror yet 77
25. Tears are not a solace 79
26. In order to bear witness I need not survive 81
27. This yar is like the world 83
28. Jews with suitcases large awkward bags 85
29. The future will hold me no more tonight in the twilight 87
30. To the yar call those with guns 89
31. And yet I will utter it 91
32. The window’s gaping open, glass panes gone 93
33. In the room there hung 95
34. I don’t know if it’s possible to cry 101
35. Achingly carefully 103
36. My bedridden mother begged me 105
37. Throat felt terribly sore today 107
38. I’ll lie just as I fell 109
39. These streets lie in ruins 111
40. Rebbe taught nobody’s immortal 113
41. World has started to stink 115
42. Sun-drenched days under occupation 117
43. This morning I studied the mirror 119
44. Midnight coughing so hard it makes the walls shake 121
45. I’m putting together a collection in these final weeks 123
46. I tripped and fell Abraham said 127
47. There may be hope yet 129
48. Now all of this, I say, let it be over 133
49. Once I danced was a dancer in a ballet maybe 135
50. Sweet-tasting poison slow-flowing 137
51. We’re like fish, pike and perch 139
52. Our neighbors came by they say we must stay together 141
53. What has changed: there are rats in abundance 143
54. Weeping I walk turning around looking back I weep 145
55. The before means that tato is home with a smile on his face 147
56. It seems to me I’m deafeningly silent 149
57. Dog at the door, I didn’t know how to speak to it 151
58. I thought it surely couldn’t get any worse 153
59. All happening at once: the bullets and the apples 155
60. This ultimate naming of things that I now attempt 157
61. We used to go fishing, me and the boys 159
62. We shall not make history we are the nobodies 163
63. Tears turn into crystalline grus 165
64. Old age creeps up when I read the news 167
65. My clothing fits loosely haven’t had any food for days 171
66. We used to come here to build a bonfire 173
67. Up to this day I lived like anyone 175
68. This is the yar where Hans does his work 177
69. This is the poem with which I scream 179
70. Notes to Poems 183