Politeness strategies used for requesting tips in Jordanian coffee houses

3.1 Data collection

All data was collected in Jordan, with half the messages in English and half in Arabic. The coffee houses selected for this study were chosen purposively (see Altakhaineh et al. 2024). In the eight coffee houses, customers help themselves (self-service) after they place their order and pay for it. They pick the order from the counter. This contrasts with the service approach in cafés and restaurants, where employees serve customers at their tables. The assumption that such coffee houses would have tip boxes was confirmed either through signage or through observation of tip boxes inside. The selection of coffee houses was also geographically specific, focusing on areas such as the Seventh Circle, Um Uthaina, Mecca Street, and the Eighth Circle in Amman, Jordan. These areas are considered prestigious and represent West Amman; consequently, the residents and visitors in these neighborhoods are more likely to understand the concept of tip boxes, making them ideal locations for this study.

Prior to formal data collection, the researchers conducted preliminary observations to identify the presence of tip boxes. Additionally, friends and family provided information on coffee houses they had visited that displayed messages on tip boxes. Based on this data, several coffee houses were visited, and photographs of the tip boxes were taken using a phone camera. In cases where a tip box with written messages was found, the researchers also visited other branches of the same coffee house chain, as it is often a consistent policy for such establishments to display similar tip boxes across different branches.

Using keywords associated with coffee shops in Jordan, the researchers searched stock picture websites like Shutterstock and Getty photographs; nevertheless, this method did not provide any photographs that were suitable for study. In the end, eight pictures of tip boxes were collected from different coffee shops; four of the messages were written in colloquial Arabic and four were in English. Based on their language content, these messages were chosen for examination, with an emphasis on the way they use politeness strategies to ask for recommendations.

3.2 Data analysis

Politeness Theory by Brown and Levinson (1987a) serves as the theoretical foundation for this investigation. Brown and Levinson’s study, which was first presented in 1978 and later developed into a whole theory, looks at the ways in which people use politeness techniques to deal with behaviors that might potentially do them harm. The content on the tip boxes is analyzed to show how civility techniques are applied to ease these potentially embarrassing situations and subtly solicit tips.

Using Brown and Levinson’s notions of on-record, off-record, positive and negative politeness as a framework, the messages were examined, with special focus paid to how language choices reflect cultural norms and social standards. The study also looks at possible cross-cultural variations in how tips are sought by contrasting how politeness techniques are used in Arabic and English texts.

4.1 Messages on tip boxes written in Arabic

The data analysis shows that distinct politeness strategies are used in messages on tip boxes written in both Colloquial Arabic and English.

The message on the tip box, humorously suggests that the tips are needed to help a colleague named Hazem get married, employs a positive politeness strategy (Figure 1). This strategy fosters a sense of community and creates a playful social bond between the staff and customers.

Figure 1:

A message on a tip box written in Arabic (بدنا نجوز حازم) ‘We want Hazem to get married.’

The use of the pronoun (na) (نا) at the end of the word (ﺑﺪﻧﺎ) /ˈbɪd.na/ highlights the sense of solidarity and invokes a strong cultural connection that taps into Jordanian traditions of communal support, especially during significant life events such as marriage. This generates a sense of chivalry and generosity for the customer when participating in such an event in the Jordanian culture and being one of the family as it is known in the Jordanian culture that family and relatives are the ones who usually contribute financially to such an occasion. This message employs both off-record and positive politeness; the latter is based on the notion of positive face (the desire to be liked and approved of). The message mainly exemplifies an off-record politeness strategy, as it does not make a direct request for tips but implies one through humor. However, it can also exhibit elements of positive politeness by seeking to connect with the audience on a personal level and enhancing their positive face through a light-hearted and relatable statement. By appealing to cultural values of solidarity, the message cleverly reduces the imposition and mitigates the request, aligning with socio-cultural norms and making the act of tipping feel less transactional and more about participating in a shared social experience.

While the message is playful, it still respects the customers’ desire in participating in the event by presenting the tipping as voluntary and tied to a specific, amusing cause. There’s no pressure; customers can choose to contribute if they enjoy the joke or feel generous or even have the desire to be part of the occasion. This taps into the customer’s positive face needs, as it makes them feel included in the “family-like” atmosphere. The handwritten sign adds a personal and authentic touch, and makes the request seem genuine. The message is still indirect it did not say (please tip us to …etc.), but the implicature is understood clearly; thus, off-record strategy is used according to Table 1 that explains Brown and Levinson Politeness Strategies.

The use of a clear tip box with visible bills inside also suggests that others are participating, encouraging new customers to follow suit. This visual cue functions as a form of social proof, where seeing that others have contributed increases the likelihood of further tipping. Overall, the humor and personalization in this tip box create a warm and engaging interaction between the staff and customers, likely making the act of tipping feel more enjoyable and socially rewarding (Figure 2).

Figure 2:

A message on a tip box written in Arabic (بدنا نجيب أخ للسلحفاه) “We are planning to buy a brother for the tortoise”.

This expression, similar to the previous one, primarily employs an off-record politeness strategy since it does not explicitly request tips but suggests a need indirectly. The statement implies a request for tips without directly asking for money. By using a whimsical or humorous expression about a turtle and its brother, the message invites customers to interpret the intention behind it, thereby encouraging tipping without overt pressure. This indirect approach allows for a playful interaction that fosters goodwill and engagement. The playful nature of the message also aligns with positive politeness, as it aims to create a friendly and approachable atmosphere. The humorous implication might resonate with customers, appealing to their positive emotions and encouraging generosity.

Here we can easily justify the use of the word (ﺑﺪﻧﺎ) /bɪdna/ as a common interest in between customers and employees in that coffee house. Customers contribute financially and employees do the rest (buying another tortoise), and both enjoy the existence of the creature as part of the vivid decoration.

The use of the smiley face mitigates the request and softens the tone of the message. It encourages customers to be engaged and to respond to the request happily. In addition to expressing gratitude towards the contribution. The message shows consideration for the tortoise social needs, which enhances the reader’s view of the message sender’s care and thoughtfulness, fulfilling the tortoise needs by suggesting improved conditions. The message does not impose on the customer or demand any action from them. It merely informs them of a future plan, so it protects the customer’s negative face by not creating any obligation or pressure. The tone is casual and conversational, which is appropriate for the context. It avoids excessive formality, making the message more relatable and less intimidating (Figure 3).

Figure 3:

Messages written on a tip box in Arabic.(فعاليات الشهر)1-ادعو لابراهيم يتخرج من الجامعه2-بدنا نسفر أبو مشرف3-ادعو ل تولين تخلص جامعه مع ابراهيم4-بدنا نجيب كنباية مساج ل رهف5 بدنا نجوز الشركسي# حلل يا وضاح الدويري.

The title at the top “الشهر فعاليات” highlights the fact that each of the employees have their own responsibilities that they need to fulfill every month. The photo shows a group of requests for a number of employees, beginning with either ادعو /ʔɪdʕu/ or (ﺑﺪﻧﺎ) /bɪdna/. The following provides a translation of the messages on the tip box:

1. “Pray for Ibrahim to graduate.”

   The message uses an off record strategy employing “pray for” (ادعو) /ʔɪdʕu/ which is generally considered a polite way to make a request, as it avoids direct imposition, and protects the customer’s negative face. The message emphasizes the social norms using the word /ʔɪdʕu/ (ادعو) as it highlights the sense of solidarity in the Jordanian society because people usually pray for the one they love.

2. “We want Abu Mushref to travel.”

   The message does not refer to the physical act of traveling. It refers to the desire of getting money in order to be able to travel. This statement is more of a wish or desire, so it is not seen as a direct request for a tip, it just expresses the wish for having money in order to achieve an employee’s ambition of travelling. The use of “ﺑﺪﻧﺎ” /ˈbɪdna/ involves the customer and softens the request by expressing a collective desire instead of a personal demand. It is less imposing and more about expressing a shared goal. To help someone achieving a wish is a source of your happiness. Solidarity, generosity and chivalry are all highlighted as the norms of the Jordanian culture.

3. “Pray for Toleen to graduate at the same time with Ibrahim.”

   The use of the word “pray” (ادعو) /ˈʔɪdʕu/ draws on religious and cultural traditions of communal prayer, which is mentioned in political speeches or public appeals, especially in contexts where collective support is valued. Similar to the first message, the use of (ادعو) /ʔɪdʕu/ maintains politeness as the author of the message did not ask directly for a tip, instead they asked for the prayer but the implicature is understood clearly, that the customer can facilitate the desire of graduating by contributing financially. The addition of “at the same time as Ibrahim” adds a specific condition, which emphasizes on the importance of the tip to achieve the goal in the desired period of time.

   As shown above in both the message, Jordanians share the concern and desire of being educated, so most of the customers if not all will encourage Ibrahim’s success, whether by praying or through the financial contribution. Engaging the customer in a communal goal, reinforces the closeness that the employee needs to maintain their positive face.

4. “We want to buy a massage chair for Rahaf.”

   This is a statement that has the same beginning of the previous messages (ﺑﺪﻧﺎ) /bɪdna/ on tip boxes, in which the customer is invited to be part of achieving the desire of the employee which is to have a massage chair, the idea of having a massage chair calls attention to the feeling of exhaustion the employee suffers from at the end of the work day. This message calls attention to the feeling of tiredness and indirectly invokes empathy to the customer’s mind when reading the message, it invokes ideas of care and well-being, and attracts the attention to the employee’s health and quality of life. It helps achieving the employee’s intention. It, at the same time, underscores the idea of tipping as a voluntary gratuity, and saves the customer’s face by not stating the request explicitly (off-record). The message also maintains the employee’s positive face by acknowledging the effort put into serving customers throughout the day. It highlights social norms such as solidarity, generosity, and chivalry.

5. “We want AlSharkasi to get married.”

   The message on the tip box, humorously suggests that the tips are needed to help a colleague named Alsharkasi to get married, the message employs an off-record politeness strategy as well as positive politeness. This strategy reinforces a sense of community and creates a sense of humor between the staff and customers.

   The use of the pronoun (ﺑﺪﻧﺎ) /bɪdna/ highlights the sense of solidarity and generates a feeling of chivalry and generosity for the customer when participating in such an event in the Jordanian culture, and being one of the family, as it is known in the Jordanian culture that family and relatives are the ones who usually contribute financially to such an occasion. This highlights the idea of utilizing the positive face (the desire to be liked and approved of), reduces the imposition and mitigates the request professionally. It employs the socio-cultural norms in the Jordanian culture.

   While the message is playful, it still respects the customers’ desire in participating in the event by presenting the tipping as voluntary gratuity and tied to a specific amusing cause. There is no pressure; customers can choose to contribute if they enjoy the joke or feel generous or even have the desire to be part of the occasion. The handwritten sign adds a personal and authentic touch, and makes the request seem genuine. The message is still indirect (off-record) as it did not state the words (please tip us to …etc.) explicitly but the implicature is clear.

6. #حلل يا وضاح الدويري# Analyze these oh Waddah Al-Dweiri

   The last statement written on this tip box is an excellent example of Intertextuality. Referring to the military expert, the retired general Fayez al-Dwairi who participates in many television programs, especially in analyzing matters related to the Israeli–Palestinian conflict. The employee asks readers to analyze each of the written messages to understand the conveyed meaning and to achieve their goals by having customers involved in the process of voluntary tipping. The military expert is very popular nowadays due to his participation in many television programs currently.

    The use of intertextuality here highlights the interconnectedness of various forms of communication, where one text echoes or quotes another, creating layers of meaning that can deepen understanding or add complexity (see ElShami et al. 2023). The messages written where all indirect messages that needs to be analyzed by the reader (customer). The messages maintain the employee’s positive face and protects the customer’s negative face. The employee creates a connection with the audience through the shared knowledge (The military expert) known for his analysis to the events. Politicians often imply ideas without stating them directly, relying on the audience to catch the reference. Analyzing messages in this way means looking for what is suggested but not explicitly said.

   When analyzing messages with a focus on intertextuality, particularly as politicians do, customers will consider how the messages refer to employees then to cultural norms, or shared beliefs. Customers will think of implied subtexts that add layers of meaning to make the communication richer and more complex, just as a politician might strategically use language to communicate with their audience on multiple levels. The use of the name “الدويري” attracts the reader’s attention to the message.

The message on the tip box indirectly requests a tip to help pay for university fees, employing an off-record strategy to avoid imposing on the customer. The message reflects the purpose of the money in the box supporting education while protecting the customer’s negative face by leaving the decision to contribute entirely up to them. This non-imposing approach ensures that customers maintain their autonomy, allowing them the freedom to choose whether or not to participate (Figure 4).

Figure 4:

A message on a tip box written in Arabic (بدنا ندفع قسط الجامعة) ‘We want to pay tuition fee for the university’.

At the same time, the message taps into the concept of solidarity, which is highly valued in Jordanian society. As mentioned earlier, Jordanians place great importance on education and empathize deeply with students’ struggles as many university students in Jordan work to support themselves. The message evokes a sense of community support, encouraging customers to help students achieve their educational goals and contribute to their right to become educated members of society.

By using the inclusive pronoun نا /bɪdna/ (meaning “we want”), the message not only protects the employees’ positive face but also fosters a sense of unity between the employees and customers. This linguistic choice transforms the act of tipping into a shared goal, where both parties are working together to support the student’s education. With the tip being presented as a contribution to a common cause rather than a simple transaction, it enhances the sense of group responsibility (Figure 5).

Figure 5:

A message written on a tip box in English “Toss a coin, share a smile”.

4.2 Messages on tip boxes written in English

Through the lens of politeness theory, while the message does contain an imperative and has elements that could be associated with negative politeness (like minimizing imposition), the overall message leans more towards positive politeness due to its focus on engagement, warmth, and social interaction. “Toss a coin” appeals to the recipient’s positive face by making a light-hearted and casual request. It implies that even a small contribution (a coin) is valuable and appreciated. “Share a smile”: This phrase focuses on positive social interaction and encourages a kind gesture. It appeals to the recipient’s desire to be seen as friendly and generous. Sharing a smile is a way to enhance social bonds and foster a positive atmosphere. The phrase is an indirect request, which respects the customer’s negative face by being free of imposition. The suggestion is soft and provides the customer with the freedom to choose whether or not to comply. Additionally, it honors the negative face by placing no obligations. This statement implies that smiling is a choice gesture that is simple to carry out and does not cost anything. In addition, the message respects the recipient’s unpleasant face by letting them make their own decisions about how they want to participate rather than giving them orders. The request is kind and respectful since the message skillfully establishes a balance between positive and negative face needs (Figure 6).

Figure 6:

A message written on a tip box in English ‘Fangs 4 the tips’.

The message uses a lighthearted and casual approach to show appreciation for tips. The sentence does not explicitly request a tip (off-record) but uses a playful pun (“fangs” instead of “thanks”) to convey appreciation indirectly. This allows customers to interpret the message in a light-hearted manner, encouraging them to contribute to the tip jar without a direct demand. The humorous wordplay creates a friendly and engaging atmosphere, appealing to the social bond between the staff and customers. By using a playful tone, it enhances the positive face of the employees, making the interaction more enjoyable and inviting (positive politeness).

Recipients are not obligated to respond to the message. The tip acknowledgement is more creative than a direct request. By doing so, the tone of the request is mitigated, and the customer’s face is protected from being negatively affected. Instead of asking for the tip in a direct way, the message expresses gratitude for the customer’s generosity. The message is both polite and playful, reinforces a positive interaction while protecting the customer’s negative face. The jar has a graphic of lips with fangs and the phrase “Fangs 4 the Tips” written on it. The design is playful, with the fangs and lips giving it a slightly vampiric or appearance. It is a fun way to encourage tips, likely intended to catch customers’ attention and bring a smile to their faces. One may also argue that the usage of non-Arabic words suggests an attempt to present employees as intellectual to customers since some messages could be targeting university students (Figure 7).

Figure 7:

A message on a tip box written in English “Coins are tough to handle; let us handle them for you”.

Negative politeness often aims to minimize the imposition on the listener. In this message, the suggestion that coins are “tough to handle” acknowledges the potential inconvenience for customers, thereby emphasizing a desire to relieve them of that burden. Through saying “let us handle them for you,” the message implicitly invites the customers to relinquish the task without directly demanding or asking for anything, which respects their autonomy. While it implies a request for tips (enabling the staff to handle the coins they may receive), it does so in a way that softens the request (off-record). It frames the act of tipping as a solution to the inconvenience mentioned, making it sound more appealing to the customer.

The message uses a polite and indirect approach that offers help. Instead of commanding or instructing the customer to give money, it gently suggests that the employees will take over the task. This respects the customer’s negative face by not imposing a direct obligation or responsibility on them. The use of “let us” is a polite way of proposing assistance without pressuring the customer. It implies that the customer has the choice to accept or decline the offer, thereby protecting their negative face and freedom of action. The message shows empathy and offers support, making the customer feel understood and cared for. At the same time, it respects the customer by using indirect language and offers assistance. The message is polite, considerate, and aims to mitigate the request while protecting the customer’s negative face (Figure 8).

Figure 8:

A message written on a tip box in English “We have party inside the box and your money is invited”.

This message does not directly ask for tips; instead, it uses a metaphorical and playful expression to suggest that contributions (tips) would be welcome (off-record). The humor and the idea of a “party” invite customers to think about the joy and appreciation that their contributions can bring, all while maintaining an indirect request for tipping. The whimsical tone of the message creates a friendly and engaging atmosphere, enhancing the positive face of the staff and appealing to the customers’ sense of enjoyment. Through framing the contribution of money as an invitation to join a “party,” it fosters a sense of community and connection between the staff and patrons (positive politeness).

“We have party inside the box” uses a metaphor to create a fun and an engaging image (see Zibin et al. 2024 for details on metaphor). It suggests that the tip box is a party hall, and that money is a beloved one who is invited to the party, which is according to the employees an enjoyable event, the use of metaphor aims to protect the employee’s positive face. “Your money is invited” depicts money as a group of elites who is the invited to the party. This part sends the message in a friendly manner. By personifying the money as being “invited,” it adds a sense of importance and excitement to the contribution. It gives the customer a feeling that their donation will be a valuable and appreciated part of the “party.” The message does not impose a direct request for money. This approach protects the customer’s negative face by not making a forceful demand and by presenting the contribution as a choice to be part of something enjoyable. The message uses positive politeness strategies by creating a playful and engaging image of contributing money. It depicts the act of giving as a fun and celebratory event, which can make the customer feel good about their contribution. At the same time, it respects negative face by presenting the request as an invitation rather than a direct command, thus giving the customer the freedom to decide whether or not to participate. The message is polite, creative, and designed to make the act of giving a positive and rewarding while respecting the customer’s choice.

Tables 2 and 3 below provide a summary of the politeness strategies used in the messages written on tip boxes in both languages.

Brown and Levinson’s (1987b) classical politeness theory reveals the formulae are of two types: positive politeness formulae which are used in the written contexts and emphasize solidarity and communal belonging; and negative politeness formulae concerned with showing deference and non-imposition. The use of these formulae reflects the employee’s greater concern of politeness. It further displays the fixity and continuity of social norms and traditions transmitted through these formulae. As many of these formulae involve reference to parallel experiences that the customers went through, especially the ones written in the colloquial language (Vernacular). When crafting tip box messages, understanding and applying politeness strategies can enhance their effectiveness. Using humor protects employees’ positive face and mitigates the request. Indirect messages help in protecting the customer’s negative face. Using words like “we” and “us” fosters a sense of community and shared experience, appealing to positive face needs. The use of “ﺑﺪﻧﺎ” /ˈbɪdna/ and “ادعو” /ˈʔɪ.ʕu/ highlights social norms, such as solidarity and breaks the barrier between the employee and the customer, while evoking empathy, protecting the employee’s positive face, and mitigating the request.

Messages on tip boxes utilize both positive and negative face acts, in addition to the off-record strategy, as these messages are all indirect written requests for voluntary tips. The politest strategy employed is off-record. Using this strategy enables customers to protect and maintain their negative face, while it also allows employees to preserve their positive face.

Messages written in colloquial Arabic evokes empathy; this type of messages gives the chance to the employee to explain a parallel experience in a couple of words or a fragment. These messages are conveyed indirectly to convey meanings that are not stated explicitly. The implicature is understood clearly when expressed in colloquial Arabic. This dialect breaks the barrier between the employee and the customer and makes it easier for employees to use different techniques such as intertextuality. The use of colloquial Arabic helps customers in protecting their positive face and reinforces social norms of solidarity, generosity and chivalry.

On the contrary, English did not give the employees the chance to express themselves as was the case in colloquial Arabic, but it helped them mitigate their requests through the use of pun and metaphor. Sometimes the use of graphics and emojis help in addition to language. The use of English protects the customer’s negative face by giving them the choice of contributing, which is a message that is free of imposition. The use of smiley faces and words that express gratitude appeared in both languages as a way of mitigating the request. Politeness is the language that people speak and use to achieve their goals and to reinforce social norms and solidarity.