Gay Men Choosing Parenthood

Gay parenting is a topic on which almost everyone has an opinion but almost nobody has any facts. Here at last is a book based on a thorough review of the literature as well as interviews with a pioneering group of men who in the 1980s chose to become fathers outside the boundaries of a heterosexual union-through foster care, adoption, and other kinship relationships.

Gay parenting is a topic on which almost everyone has an opinion but almost nobody has any facts. Here at last is a book based on a thorough review of the literature, as well as interviews with a pioneering group of men who in the 1980s chose to become fathers outside the boundaries of a heterosexual union—through foster care, adoption, and other kinship relationships.

This book reveals how very natural and possible gay parenthood can be. What factors influence this decision? How do the experiences of gay dads compare to those of heterosexual men? How effectively do professional services such as support groups serve gay fathers and prospective gay fathers? What elements of the social climate are helpful—and hurtful? Gay Men Choosing Parenthood challenges a great deal of misinformation, showing how gay fathers from different backgrounds adapted, perceived, and constructed their options and their families.

Gerald P. Mallon is associate professor of social work and executive director of the National Resource Center for Foster Care and Permanency Planning at Hunter College School of Social Work. He is the author of numerous books, including Let's Get This Straight: A Gay- and Lesbian-Affirming Approach to Child Welfare (Columbia). He lives in New York City.

Ian Harvey:
Gay Men Choosing Parenthood is well presented and easy to read... I found this book insightful and invaluable study into an area where there has been little research/

Jim Nawrocki:
Important and much-needed chronicles of an emerging and evolving portion of American society, the queer family.

Gay dads of any kind, or men hoping to become gay dads, will find inspiration among these stories of real parenting, gender politics, community responses, and the personal transformation that life with a child brings.

Mallon examines the experiences of 20 gay men from New York and Los Angeles who became fathers without a female coparent in the 1980s....The interviews and extensive bibliography make Mallon's a good purchase for academic libraries.

An affirming book for gay fathers or fathers-to-be, written with an excellent balance between anecdote and clear, simplified research.

[Mallon] provides insight into the emotions common to gay men who choose to become parents. His study should enlighten psychologists, policy makers and anyone working in the field of childcare and the legal and social institutions surrounding it.

Robert-Jay Green, California School of Professional Psychology, Alliant International University, San Francisco:
This book is both an engrossing journey into the lives of gay male parents and a superb piece of scholarship on psychological resilience and self-determination. You will never view fatherhood and family life in the same way again!

a gay dad:
I wish that there had been a book like this when I adopted my child. It was not a difficult decision for me to become a dad, but it was very complicated negotiating the foster care and adoption systems. Gay Men Choosing Parenthood will help other gay men who are deciding about parenthood to navigate this journey.

child of a gay dad:
I don't know why people make such a big deal about having a gay dad. To be honest I am kind of sick of talking about it. In my day to day life I don't think so much about having a gay dad. My dad is my dad—and he is a great dad—he just happens to be gay, that's all.