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Widows' Words
Women Write on the Experience of Grief, the First Year, the Long Haul, and Everything in Between
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Edited by:
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With contributions by:
Language:
English
Published/Copyright:
2019
About this book
Becoming a widow is one of the most traumatic life events that a woman can experience. Yet, as this remarkable new collection reveals, each woman responds to that trauma differently. Here, forty-three widows tell their stories, in their own words.
Some were widowed young, while others were married for decades. Some cared for their late partners through long terminal illnesses, while others lost their partners suddenly. Some had male partners, while others had female partners. Yet each of these women faced the same basic dilemma: how to go on living when a part of you is gone.
Widows’ Words is arranged chronologically, starting with stories of women preparing for their partners’ deaths, followed by the experiences of recent widows still reeling from their fresh loss, and culminating in the accounts of women who lost their partners many years ago but still experience waves of grief. Their accounts deal honestly with feelings of pain, sorrow, and despair, and yet there are also powerful expressions of strength, hope, and even joy. Whether you are a widow yourself or have simply experienced loss, you will be sure to find something moving and profound in these diverse tales of mourning, remembrance, and resilience.
Some were widowed young, while others were married for decades. Some cared for their late partners through long terminal illnesses, while others lost their partners suddenly. Some had male partners, while others had female partners. Yet each of these women faced the same basic dilemma: how to go on living when a part of you is gone.
Widows’ Words is arranged chronologically, starting with stories of women preparing for their partners’ deaths, followed by the experiences of recent widows still reeling from their fresh loss, and culminating in the accounts of women who lost their partners many years ago but still experience waves of grief. Their accounts deal honestly with feelings of pain, sorrow, and despair, and yet there are also powerful expressions of strength, hope, and even joy. Whether you are a widow yourself or have simply experienced loss, you will be sure to find something moving and profound in these diverse tales of mourning, remembrance, and resilience.
Author / Editor information
Nan Bauer-Maglin worked at City University of New York for almost forty years as a professor and administrator. She now volunteers for Girls Write Now and The Whitney Museum. She is the editor or coeditor of many books, including Cut Loose: (Mostly) Older Women Talk about the End of (Mostly) Long-term Relationships.
Reviews
“This collection is a comforting, necessary companion for the many, many women whose love outlasts their partners' lives. The stories are honest, unsentimental and as complicated and varied as marriages themselves.”
"Expertly compiled and deftly edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin, "Widows' Words: Women Write on the Experience of Grief, the First Year, the Long Haul, and Everything in Between" is a unique and very highly recommended addition to both community and academic library collections."
— Midwest Book Review"Gentle, wry humor and strong advice that feels like it’s offered in a warm blanket and a hug. It all makes Widows’ Words a great reference and good comfort even though, for the newly bereaved, it can’t begin to cover everything."
— Post News Group“Women have learned to find fortitude in sharing the truth of their lives - not because we have the same truth, but because we find community and support there. The stories in this honest and loving book will give strength to those experiencing widowhood and wisdom to those trying to help them build the rest of their lives.”
— Suzanne Braun Levine, author Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood“Widows’ Words is an invaluable tool for understanding loss, mourning and grief, and an equally fascinating and compelling read with diverse and varied points of views, which proved to me that every loss is unique yet universal. Nan Bauer-Maglin has brought together many strong female voices that both define and redefine the concept of 'widow.'"
— Jonathan Santlofer, author of The Widower's Notebook: A Memoir"This heartfelt collection should help widows, and widowers as well, feel less alone as they move through a wrenching transition."
— Publishers WeeklyTopics
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Frontmatter
i -
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CONTENTS
vii -
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Introduction
1 - Part I: Prologue—Expectant Widows
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What We Were Afraid Of: A Memoir
17 -
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The Queen Has Spoken
29 -
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Living a Life
33 -
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Preparing for the Journey through Grief
41 -
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Deserted/Dumped for a Second Time
48 -
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From Pre-Widow to Merry Widow
52 - Part II: Recent Widows
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A Widow’s Notes: The First Six Months
65 -
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My Other Half
72 -
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The Cloak
78 -
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“The Most Precious Fit”: A Dialogue with C. S. Lewis’s A Grief Observed
88 -
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On Grief
98 -
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Wedding Rings
103 -
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The Afterlife of an Archive
110 -
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A Healing Garden
115 -
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You See, I Told You So!
117 -
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Yes, I Miss My Husband, but I’m Also Discovering the Pleasures of Living Alone
120 - Part III: Long-Time Widows
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The Grief Convention
127 -
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10 Scary Things I Have Done since My Husband Died
133 -
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Being Alone
140 -
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Re-creating My Life
143 -
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Becoming Maggie
149 -
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Who I Am Revealed
155 -
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Losing the Artist, Living with His Art
159 -
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After the Aftermath
168 -
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Three Poems
170 - Part IV: Unique Takes or Digging Deeper
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Widow-to- Widow
175 -
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Parenting as a Widow
185 -
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Memories of a Widow’s Daughter
190 -
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Lost Acts . . .
199 -
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Dealing with Double Loss: Husband and Hearing
204 -
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Synchronicity and the Secular Mind
211 -
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Mourning American-Style
216 -
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The Rocks That Bind
219 -
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On Not Feeling Sad
224 -
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What They Don’t Tell You
229 -
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Nine Things Resilient People Do after Losing a Spouse or Partner
235 -
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Make Lemonade?!
243 - Part V: Epilogue
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The Missing Vow
255 -
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
259 -
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ARTIST’S STATEMENT
261 -
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NOTES ON CONTRIBUTORS
263
Publishing information
Pages and Images/Illustrations in book
eBook published on:
October 21, 2019
eBook ISBN:
9780813599571
Pages and Images/Illustrations in book
eBook ISBN:
9780813599571
Keywords for this book
widow; women; grief; death; memoir; trauma; partner; couple; family; illness; dilemma; pain; loss; waves; sorrow; despair; strength; hope; joy; mourning; remember; remembrance; resilience; alone; lonely; losing; parenting; single parent; memories; husband
Audience(s) for this book
For an expert adult audience, including professional development and academic research
