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book: Failures of Forgiveness
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Failures of Forgiveness

What We Get Wrong and How to Do Better
  • and
Language: English
Published/Copyright: 2023

About this book

Philosopher Myisha Cherry teaches us the right ways to deal with wrongdoing in our lives and the world

Sages from Cicero to Oprah have told us that forgiveness requires us to let go of negative emotions and that it has a unique power to heal our wounds. In Failures of Forgiveness, Myisha Cherry argues that these beliefs couldn’t be more wrong—and that the ways we think about and use forgiveness, personally and as a society, can often do more harm than good. She presents a new and healthier understanding of forgiveness—one that will give us a better chance to recover from wrongdoing and move toward “radical repair.”

Cherry began exploring forgiveness after some relatives of the victims of the mass shooting at Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, South Carolina, forgave what seemed unforgiveable. She was troubled that many observers appeared to be more inspired by these acts of forgiveness than they were motivated to confront the racial hatred that led to the killings. That is a big mistake, Cherry argues. Forgiveness isn’t magic. We can forgive and still be angry, there can be good reasons not to forgive, and forgiving a wrong without tackling its roots solves nothing. Examining how forgiveness can go wrong in families, between friends, at work, and in the media, politics, and beyond, Cherry addresses forgiveness and race, canceling versus forgiving, self-forgiveness, and more. She takes the burden of forgiveness off those who have been wronged and offers guidance both to those deciding whether and how to forgive and those seeking forgiveness.

By showing us how to do forgiveness better, Failures of Forgiveness promises to transform how we deal with wrongdoing in our lives, opening a new path to true healing and reconciliation.

Author / Editor information

Myisha Cherry is associate professor of philosophy at the University of California, Riverside, where she also directs the Emotion and Society Lab. She is the author of The Case for Rage: Why Anger Is Essential to Anti-Racist Struggle and UnMuted: Conversations on Prejudice, Oppression, and Social Justice, which draws on her popular podcast UnMute. She has been widely featured in the media, including the Los Angeles Times, The New Yorker, the Atlantic, BET, and the podcast Pod Save the People.

Reviews

"A thought-provoking work on forgiveness." --- "A very helpful guide book for those who want to know how philosophy can help us to understand and practise forgiveness better today."---Stephen Cherry, Church Times --- "Thoughtful. . . . [Failures of Forgiveness] will attract readers eager to delve into forgiveness in its many forms." --- "[A]n accessible, thoughtful book that offers a useful corrective to an overly narrow definition of forgiveness. . . . [Failures of Forgiveness] should propel subtle reflection and rich, deep conversation."---Paul Dornan, Presbyterian Outlook --- "A fascinating examination of forgiveness, its conceptions and misconceptions, and how we can best extend (or choose not to extend) forgiveness in our lives with reparative aims. . . .Well-written, thoughtful, and highly intelligent, this book has transformed my understanding of forgiveness."---Ilina Jha, Redbrick Culture --- "Cherry’s [Failures of Forgiveness], rooted in real-world examples, is what I would hand to my congregant struggling over whether to forgive a family member. . . . [Cherry] provides concrete language, potential strategies, and contextual self-awareness to the practice of forgiveness, all without short-circuiting an individual’s need to exercise creative moral discernment of their own."---William T. Barnett, Christian Century --- "Myisha Cherry will make you stop and (re)examine what you think you know about forgiveness."---Karla J. Strand, Ms. Magazine --- "Eminently readable and always engaging, Failures of Forgiveness brings a care and clarity to the complex concept at its heart, ultimately asking us to enlarge the ways we understand—and practice—forgiveness. For the desire to write prose that is at once accessible and precise, Cherry needn’t apologize. . . she accomplishes both.”"---Gregory Laski, Los Angeles Review of Books --- "[Cherry] is especially insightful on the asymmetry of forgiveness requests following incidents of racial violence. . . [A] nuanced view of how one might both cultivate possibilities of forgiveness – as requesters and extenders – and learn to live with its lack."---Rhoda Feng, Times Literary Supplement --- "A first rate work from a penetrating mind." --- "A Seminary Co-Op Notable Book of the Year" --- "Finalist for the Zocalo Book Prize"

Topics

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    Frontmatter

    i
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  • Publicly Available

    Contents

    vii
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    Introduction: Forgiveness and Magical Thinking

    1
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    1 What to Expect When You Are Expecting Forgiveness

    8
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    2 Forgivers and Withholders

    27
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    3 Making a Good Ask

    46
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    4 Forgiveness as Political Project

    64
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    5 When Race Matters

    83
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    6 Home Improvement

    98
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    7 The Business of Forgiveness

    117
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    8 Canceling versus Forgiving

    138
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    9 Forgiving Yourself

    156
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    10 Radical Repair: With or without Forgiveness

    174
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    Conclusion: Doing Forgiveness Better

    191
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    Acknowledgments

    197
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    Notes

    199
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    References

    213
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    Index

    221
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Publishing information
Pages and Images/Illustrations in book
eBook published on:
September 6, 2023
eBook ISBN:
9780691230474
Pages and Images/Illustrations in book
View content
https://doi.org/10.1515/9780691230474
eBook ISBN: 9780691230474
Keywords for this book
forgiveness; Conflict; Relationships; Polarization; Political Divisions; Reconciliation; Regret; Canceling; Love; Family; Repair; Reckoning; Emotions; Social Philosophy; Political Philosophy; Moral Psychology; Philosophy of Race; Africana Philosophy; Feminist Philosophy; Safe space; grief; sadness; anger; anger moderators; anger eradicators; goodwill extenders; resentment; contempt; letting go; police violence; apartheid; compassion; attidude; retribution; victim; responsibility; cognitive; behavioral; relief; release; negative feelings; martin luther king jr; moral operators; remorse; sympathy; respect; communication; apology; guilt trip; manipulaton; gaslighting; empowerment; morality; The Case for Rage; abusive; abused; Failures of Forgiveness; What We Get Wrong about forgiveness; How to Do forgiveness Better; Myisha Cherry; Princeton University Press; how to forgive; why forgive; should I forgive; forgive; cherry; books about forgiveness; stories of forgivenss; race conflict; cultural meaning of forgiveness; religion and forgiveness; Jesus
Audience(s) for this book
For a non-specialist adult audience
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