6 Sex and older gay men
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Peter Robinson
Abstract
At the heart of this chapter are the stories of 11 gay men, aged 43–71, who spoke about adventurous sexual encounters with strangers. It would be an exaggeration to say that they structured their lives around casual sex but, as their stories show, they were willing and able to make time available to maximise opportunities for sexual adventures.
Analysis of the stories revealed two narratives. The first was the effect of age on their ability to satisfy their sexual desire, that is, whether or how an ageing body constrained their sexual activity. The second narrative related to age preference and whether they sought encounters with younger men or older men and their success in doing so. Both narratives included evidence of the effects of ageism and loss, how these are expressed, and, in line with the work of Simpson (2015), how they can be resisted.
This chapter rests on stories appearing across three books that the author has written on gay men’s life stories and which focus on age and ageing. The first (Robinson, 2008) concerned three generations of Australian gay men, aged 22–79, and how changing social norms affected the ease with which they could be public about their sexuality. The second considered how age and ageing affected gay men’s relationships (Robinson, 2013). Based on material from an international sample of men aged 20–87, it examined long-term relationships, fatherhood, various lived experiences of single men and generational differences regarding gay marriage. The third book (Robinson, 2017) looked at gay men’s working lives from the perspective of three generations of gay men from the same international sample, as well as their views and experiences on retirement from paid work and on old age/later life.
Abstract
At the heart of this chapter are the stories of 11 gay men, aged 43–71, who spoke about adventurous sexual encounters with strangers. It would be an exaggeration to say that they structured their lives around casual sex but, as their stories show, they were willing and able to make time available to maximise opportunities for sexual adventures.
Analysis of the stories revealed two narratives. The first was the effect of age on their ability to satisfy their sexual desire, that is, whether or how an ageing body constrained their sexual activity. The second narrative related to age preference and whether they sought encounters with younger men or older men and their success in doing so. Both narratives included evidence of the effects of ageism and loss, how these are expressed, and, in line with the work of Simpson (2015), how they can be resisted.
This chapter rests on stories appearing across three books that the author has written on gay men’s life stories and which focus on age and ageing. The first (Robinson, 2008) concerned three generations of Australian gay men, aged 22–79, and how changing social norms affected the ease with which they could be public about their sexuality. The second considered how age and ageing affected gay men’s relationships (Robinson, 2013). Based on material from an international sample of men aged 20–87, it examined long-term relationships, fatherhood, various lived experiences of single men and generational differences regarding gay marriage. The third book (Robinson, 2017) looked at gay men’s working lives from the perspective of three generations of gay men from the same international sample, as well as their views and experiences on retirement from paid work and on old age/later life.
Chapters in this book
- Front Matter i
- Contents vii
- List of figures and tables ix
- Notes on editors and contributors x
- Series editors’ introduction xiv
- Foreword xxv
- Sex and intimacy in later life: a survey of the terrain 1
- Sexual expression and pleasure among black minority ethnic older women 15
- Sexual desires and intimacy needs in older persons and towards the end of life 39
- Heterosexual sex, love and intimacy in later life: what have older women got to say? 57
- Sex and ageing in older heterosexual men 79
- Sex and older gay men 103
- Thinking the unthinkable: older lesbians, sex and violence 121
- Splitting hairs: Michel Foucault’s ‘heterotopia’ and bisexuality in later life 139
- The age of rediscovery: what is it like to gender transition when you are 50 plus? 163
- Ageing asexually: exploring desexualisation and ageing intimacies 181
- Older people, sex and social class: unusual bedfellows? 199
- Final reflections: themes on sex and intimacy in later life 217
- Index 231
Chapters in this book
- Front Matter i
- Contents vii
- List of figures and tables ix
- Notes on editors and contributors x
- Series editors’ introduction xiv
- Foreword xxv
- Sex and intimacy in later life: a survey of the terrain 1
- Sexual expression and pleasure among black minority ethnic older women 15
- Sexual desires and intimacy needs in older persons and towards the end of life 39
- Heterosexual sex, love and intimacy in later life: what have older women got to say? 57
- Sex and ageing in older heterosexual men 79
- Sex and older gay men 103
- Thinking the unthinkable: older lesbians, sex and violence 121
- Splitting hairs: Michel Foucault’s ‘heterotopia’ and bisexuality in later life 139
- The age of rediscovery: what is it like to gender transition when you are 50 plus? 163
- Ageing asexually: exploring desexualisation and ageing intimacies 181
- Older people, sex and social class: unusual bedfellows? 199
- Final reflections: themes on sex and intimacy in later life 217
- Index 231
